The Grass is Always Greener

The grass is always greener. The past, the future, it was better or it’s going to get better. We miss things and long for things and dream of things to come. 

My brain is always occupied with memories of adventures and happy places. Blueberry fields, apple orchards, museums in Santa Fe, farmers markets, lobster shacks on the coast in Maine, paddle boarding, Guernsey ice cream. And when my brain isn’t entirely consumed with memories I’m constantly daydreaming about exploring the rest of the world, where I’ll live next, what food I’ll be able to eat there, what I will do on the weekends. 

And then I look out my window. I’m living in Peru, and isn’t this one of my dreams? How is my every second not occupied with overflowing happiness to be here, to have this opportunity? It is, but it wears on you. Every challenge is emboldened by homesickness. I’m missing my dogs and running a near constant risk of consuming a parasite. 

About a week ago now I discovered that the bug bites and insidious itching I’ve been facing at monthly intervals since July is in fact scabies. Yes, I contracted scabies, who knows where along my journey in Peru and yet little mites burrowing tunnels through my skin at generational intervals were the culprit to my misery. At the same time that I discovered this, I also had fleas, again. So all of those frustrations taken into account, at the end of the day when you really miss your dogs, or your mom, or your dad’s lasagna... it’s tiring. And in the following two weeks came down with my first bout of Giardia, after nine full months parasite free my streak came crashing down.

Last June when I made the decision to move down here, I had no idea what to expect. I know I’m stubborn as hell though and figured I’d push through no matter what just to say I could do it. The reality is I love my little Peruvian life. I love this small town, and the market, I love my job, I love the weather even, most of the time. I love the mountains and the ruins. I love the dogs in town, I love the adorable children. I love the mangos and the corn. I love that I see butterflies and flowers all year ‘round. I love that I get time alone and time to read. 

As I sit in my window in the sun on a Sunday morning looking out at the Andes and the Incan ruins on top of them, I’m well aware that likely for the rest of my life I will think back and long for days like this. I will live out my days ecstatic to find Inca Kola in an international grocery store, and always be a harsh judge of potato quality. I will crave the sound of Quechua, and I will be deterred from the apparent coldness of a handshake greeting. I will always value textiles with the highest regard, I will miss the strong sunshine, and the bread. I know it, I know right now how much I will long for this place, and for what memories I am creating here. 

When I’m at my absolutely most homesick I tell myself these things and it makes me happy. It makes me happy that challenges included I’ve made a decision that has been right for me and led me to new challenges, opportunities for growth, and also lovely happy joyful memories. 

I love the happy parts of my past and love that I have such high hopes for my future, but I also know that even though the present will always seem more challenging, this is a happy chapter too. 

I’ve been here nine months, man oh man how time flies. ... 16 to go? Can’t wait to find out...

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 27, 2018 at 2:42 PM

    Garlic cloves and turmeric are natural organic herbs for helping to rid of parasites, even if you are taking an antibiotic............ cook garlic with your food and I love turmeric in my tomato soup and sometimes I put cheese crackers on top of the soup. Eat garlic every day even if it is one clove............also keeps the vampires away :)
    love and miss ya, grannnny

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 27, 2018 at 3:34 PM

    garlic also helps fight viruses
    grannnnny loves you

    ReplyDelete

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